Sunday, April 11, 2004
Another Lie...
Frustrated Maroon 5 - Harder To Breathe

D'accord... I've tried so hard to make all of this work but I don't know anymore. I mean, Collin and I are a good couple but seriously! I've tried to be nice and understand him, but I'm confused. What if I lied to him? That's the first time. I can't believe that one simple little thing can cause so much agony and fear. I'm so disillusioned now. I am thinking of just taking a break from all of this and working out how I feel but I love him. I love Collin. I know I do, with all my heart and soul. How can something so wonderful always end up hurting me, though? I don't want to make a mistake by taking a break but how does breaking my promise with Robert to go to prom solve anything? I mean, I really want to go still but I want to keep Collin. I truly do. I've still got these feelings for Anthony that didn't really hide themselves this weekend, especially. Stacey spent the night Friday night. Prunelle called and she ended up staying over also. Anyway, it's late at night and we were all bored. We were trying to keep Stacey awake and Prunelle suggests that we call Anthony. So, we do... We convince him to sneak out and meet up with us at my house. That's all good (besides the fact that none of us can pick him up with our permits). lol... So, Prunelle gets in my car and we drive to Anthony's to pick him up at 1:30 AM!!! We hang out downstairs with candles lit and we talk and goof around. It was fun. Then we dropped him off at home around 3 AM and went back home to sleep. We went home and I called him to ask how things were. It was fun. Yep... ;) Now I can't stop thinking about Anthony. I would sooo tap that. lol... The Collin situation is just frustrating me to no end because of the ultimatum and the fact that I told him that I'd not go to prom for him. If that makes things a little better in any way, I have no idea. I'm so confused. I need to talk to Collin alone to figure all this out.
I can't believe that just because Anthony is on my mind means that I have to be thinking 'adulterous' things about him, pardon the reference for whoever gets the allusion. ;) I'm confused. I absolutely hate this.

ixcrisxi at 2:36:00 PM MDT